1. Why did you decided to share so much of yourself and your past in "I Say A Prayer For Me?"
I believed I had no choice. It just started flowing like that. I tried to hold back but couldn’t. It was against my new nature. I had been groomed by Dorine and the others in the 12-step experience to unmask, get real, and only in getting real with God, myself, and others, would lasting recovery be possible.
In treatment, they called me Secret Squirrel…I mean at first I thought it was a Black thang – don’t tell what happens in your household or your life…but now that the Lord has enlarged my territory, it’s a universal misnomer. Don’t tell. But I found out that I was as sick as my secrets. Secrets grow in the dark but die in the light of exposure.
When I was about 3 months clean and sober, I heard my mentor, Dorine, sharing over a microphone to an audience of hundreds at a convention, that she had been raped as a child. I was like, how could she say that about herself. But I also saw the freedom that was in her step, in her countenance, at the core of her being and I wanted that freedom.
It was then at thirty-something years old that I told her, in the hotel room after the talk, that I too had been raped. I had never told anyone that since it had happened when I was 14 years old. I cried and she held me and told me, “Stanice, they were some sick men to do that to you. It’s not your fault. You will see, it’s gonna be alright.” Thus, was my second taste of freedom from the bondage of my past. The first was when months before I had said Yes to Jesus as my Lord and Savior.
Plus, the Word… I believe my ministry’s foundation is build solidly on two specific scriptures. (1) Revelations 12:11. 11They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.
And (2) Jeremiah 29:11-14, For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity.
God did that so I must tell my stories.
2. Was writing a part of your healing process?
Yes, no doubt. And still is a part of my healing process.
3. What advice would you give to other recovering addicts? Survivors of abuse?
Allow God’s love to lift you and a lot of time He uses people to show you what His love looks like, feels like, is like. Pray and develop an intimate, personal relationship with God. This comes with practice… like with playing the piano or developing your vocal range, practice…practice praying, practice meditation which is listening to God…He speaks through nature, people, His Word, in a baby’s smile, in getting through one day clean and free from active addiction or alcoholism. I would also suggest praying and asking God to plant into your life positive people who will uplift you, believe in you even though in the beginning of the recovery process you may not be able to. That’s what I did and He brought people into my life like my mentor from the beginning, Dorine, who is still my mentor and mimicked for me what a whole and healed life looks like and I wanted that for myself. Her life made me thirsty for a new and better way to live. Survivors of abuse the same thing… I am a survivor of heroin and abusive relationships--- sexual and physical abuse, and emotional… the key is forgiving so one can move on with their life. Letting go the resentments. Resentments are like stabbing yourself over and over again and waiting for the other person to bleed. You gotta let go. Also let go of the secrets. I was raped at 14 and did not telling a living soul until I was 34 and only after I heard my mentor confess that she had been raped. That’s a long time to carry that much pain—ALONE. It was like cancer eating up my soul…which led to the drugs, abusive relationships, everything harmful that I had come to believe that I deserved. But it was a lie from the pit of lies. I did not deserve what happened to me and the men who raped me were sick and their act upon me evil. I was damaged but I am not damaged goods as I had come to believe. And that’s where the love comes in. it lifted me out of that pit of despair. My relationship with God through Jesus Christ freed me from all that bondage, and infused me with hope and promises that God has kept and makes me want to stay clean and free as much now as I did 21 years ago when I first got clean and sober. I want to see what the end will be—already my latter has been so much greater than my former.
4. Do you have any resolutions for 2007?
Yes, to go to that next level with NO FEAR! To take God at His Word—period. To not look at the circumstances that may be surrounding me but ONLY at what God says…and He says, Stanice, I alone know the plans I have for you, plans for prosperity and not disaster. Plans to give you a future and a hope. That’s Word! Jeremiah 29:11-13 which is one of the scriptures that my ministry is built on… the other is Revelations 12:11 – We overcome by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony.
5. What advice would you give to aspiring authors?
Writers Write. There is a paradigm that I share during my writing workshops or private classes with writers. If the desire to write is not accompanied by the act of writing then the desire is not to write. Also, hone your craft. Writing is rewriting and rewriting and tightening and writing some more…and this is an awkward sentence, but I’m carrying it like we are talking across the table from one another—So I’m saying learn your craft. The art of story. Also on my website at www.stanice.com, I have hundreds of links to resources for writers, as well as a Q&A column for Writers.
6. When I get to heaven God will say...
Girl, I knew that if I kept inflating your lungs you would eventually get it—get me—know me—trust me—let go and let me. We knew it—Jesus, The Holy Ghost and I.
7. What is your website address?
www.stanice.com and www.myspace.com/isayaprayerforme