Boy, was last week tough! Started out great with Sunday service, but then come Monday—look out! First thing that morning, I delved into my Philosophy mid-term. Had all my notes, thought I was fully prepared and then read the questions and “Wham!” Seemed as if I had not even read some of what he was asking. He did what some instructors do and tested us on material he had NOT covered in class and though I took really thorough notes from my reading, Philosophy requires some serious ‘breaking down’ for me. In fact, I’ve determined that deciphering these guys’ words actually makes my brain hurt. And, though I know that it’s good learning for me to think in a linear way and work outside of my comfort zone, the ‘sista-girl’-practical side of me, just wants to ask these fellas, “What’s really going on? Don’t ya’ll have nothin’ better to do! Then think, and think and think some more?”
Well anyway, I digress. Wading through the questions (to the best of my ability), I kept an eye on the time. Finally, only one question to go with twenty minutes left and what happens? Evidently I pressed a key I’ve never pressed before and instead of letters, my keys begin to type symbols and I couldn’t fix it!! So, I run upstairs, boot up the desktop computer and by the time I get back online and on to WebCT I have about 10 minutes to answer this question. So, figuring something is better than nothing, I put in something. Now, that was Monday morning. And, let me just say things got even more complicated as the week went on and on top of all of it I was slogging my way through my Philosophy (yeah, I know more Philosophy) mid-term paper. Most other changes were inward, emotional reactions to unexpected situations, but I’d already determined it a blessing, and decided to “Count it all joy".
As a student, I have financial aid and like most who are eligible to receive it, really need the money. Well, those funds were supposed to come Saturday and of course in keeping the pattern of this particular week, they did not. And, after nearly panicking, I realized that too many times in my life, when I'm in difficulty I don't respond with faith. Instead I react in fear and I felt this a revelation of sorts. Something I should’ve known, and been practicing but didn’t know and had not. Or maybe it's something I’d forgotten and needed to remember. Anyway, come Sunday morning, I was ready to go to church and praise the Lord and receive His word. Well mostly ready. So, at 5:15 I got up, through on the sweats, went to walk at the track and on my third lap, what do I see at 5:45 in the morning right outside the fence? A dog. Now, I have a dog, but I’m still not fond of loose dogs because when I was younger I got bit. And, this wasn’t a small dog. So quietly I hurried to my car, but then determination set in and I rounded the block once and came back and finished the walk. By the time I was headed home, I was sure more drama was on the way.
Once home, I took the dog for her walk, made coffee, showered, had my clothes and my son’s ready and as I meditated what did hear? Sleet!! For only about a second I contemplated staying home, because I knew then God had a blessing for me in the service. I just had to make it there. Next, I told my son to start the car and here we go again! He’d been trying to get some drama going all weekend and I’ve determined ‘peace’ will exist in my home. So, because of that he’s already in his room and unhappy and still trying to get something going so I can be miserable as he. By now, I’m stressed cause it’s snowing and it’s getting late and I know it’s going to take me even longer to make it down the highway because of the weather and I still have to get gas! To cut to the chase, brotha' got smart one time too many and got left behind.
So, I get gas, drive down the sloshy highway and finally make it into the Sanctuary. Man, I'll tell you, I’ve never been so happy to sit down anywhere as I was to sit in that pew on Sunday! The hugs I gave folks were genuine, because I’d gone through much to get there. And, then it was God’s turn. First, the choirs all sang songs that touched my heart and situation and then there was a praise dance and the song they danced to was, “He won’t give you more than you can bear!” By the time Bishop came up I knew something good was going to happen. And, sure enough after we’d greeted each other, he asked that we turn in our Bibles to Hebrews 11:1. For those of you who know what Scripture that is already, I kid you not; this is where he asked us to turn!! Hebrews 11:1 - Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. And, this was the Scripture he based Sunday’s message on and ya’ll know that was JUST the message I needed to hear that morning!
And, so the moral is folks, while philosophers "philosophize" over if God exists, their rhetoric gives me no pause to question. Instead, God reminded me that the test during difficulty is to remember, when times are rough and the going gets tough to “Have Faith!” As Bishop sang at the end of service, “His eye is on the Sparrow and I know He watches me”. Thank you Lord…
Cheri Paris Edwards is the first-time author of “Plenty Good Room”, published in hardcover by Walk Worthy/Warner Books in Spring, 2005. She is 49-years old and the mother of two boys. She lives in East-Central Illinois. Her website is www.cheriparisedwards.com