Undependence.
Yes, I know I spelled that differently. I chose this word because we love our “independence” in this country, we prize it like a virtue. And I do strive to be an independent woman.
But I don’t want to be an “undependent” woman. And, given how many years I’ve been a Christian, you’d have think I’d have gotten the lesson by now. As it is, I remain a champion of trying to get things done in my own strength, rather than leaning on God. I’m sitting here on a working vacation in San Francisco, doing research for the sequel to Masked by Moonlight (my June 2008 book you heard about in my last guest blog appearance—the sequel will come out in late 2010), and I’m stressed because I feel like I have eight million things to get done. Really, I’ve got no cooking, no laundry, my husband and kids are in another time-zone, I’ve got nothing but uninterrupted free time staring me in the face, and I’m stressed.
I know the solution. I’ve known it for years. The solution is to put God in the picture. If I remember to spend time with God first, to pray over my to-do list, and partner in dependence (much different than independence, mind you), things work out. When I remembered to do that Thursday, things went great. When I remembered to do that Friday, things went great. When I got cocky and stopped doing that Saturday and Sunday, well, you can figure it out.
The thing that always kills me is there is no downside to depending on God. There’s no good reason to NOT do it. So why don’t I do it? I know God is standing by, just craving to send His presence into my day and my work and my relationships if I’d just invite him. How different my life would go if I’d just let God into every item on my precious “to-do” list. If I’d get into the habit of inviting Him alongside me before I start the next item instead of being so pleased with myself for scratching off the previous item. Did I even remember to do it before I opened up my computer to start the “write faithchick blog” item on my list. No. And boy, it feels really lousy to admit that in such a public setting.
Until I remember that the moment I confess my un-dependence, God forgets all my stupidity and leaps at the chance to spend my time with me. I know this. My characters in my current book BLUEGRASS HERO have their lives completely changed by God’s forgiveness. So I need to act on this truth. I’ve re-written the rest of today’s to-do list. It now reads, “Pray about and then write faithchick blog.” Followed by “pray about and then write chapter 21.” And then, since I’m in San Francisco, “say grace over and then consume large butter-smothered Dungeness crab dinner.” A girl’s gotta eat—even on a working vacation.
An avid knitter, coffee junkie, and devoted chocoholic, Allie Pleiter writes both fiction and non-fiction. The
enthusiastic but slightly untidy mother of two, Allie spends her days
writing books, doing laundry, running carpools, and finding new ways to
avoid housework. The “dare from a friend” to begin
writing nine years ago has given rise to a career spanning two
parenting books, six novels including the multi-nominated MY SO-CALLED
LOVE LIFE, and various national speaking engagements on faith, women’s
issues, and writing. Visit her website at www.alliepleiter.com
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