Some of the godliest parents I've known have lost children, while there are crack addicts raising kids in drug dens. I've seen heartless, vicious people rise in the ranks of their profession, while godly, Christian men struggle to put food on the table. The unfairness of life can get to you. When that happens, the last thing you want to hear is about God's will. Hey, how about God's will is good for me, for once, you know?
Over the years, I have learned that it's good for me. I used to be afraid to fly, and once on a plane, I took the ride to my worst fears. I'm going to crash, it's going to be this horrible descent and I'll never see my family again on earth and...and just like that, I didn't have a fear of flying. I understood that if God's time for me to go was there on the plane? I was ready to go.
I read a book (non-Christian) called "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway". Although, it was a secular book, I realized that my own controlling issues are what keep me from being in the moment, from living God's perfect will. Do I believe or don't I? If I believe, then it's not about what happens to me in life, it's about how I deal with it.
My husband lost his job last week and we've put my beloved house on the market. I have put SOOO much work and love into this house. It is my "baby". I am absolutely grieved over leaving friends and the neighborhood, over not knowing where we're going, where our four kids will go to school next year, etc. etc. I'm still in a bit of denial. I go in the backyard, look at the beautiful view and I can't believe I won't be here in a year. Ultimately, I know I will be better for it, so I'm fixing my eyes on the future and trying to live happily in the present. Below is a picture of one of my house fixes. The boys' bedroom. I put those shelves up myself. Cool, huh?
www.KristinBillerbeck.com
"Back to Life" Avon Inspire Available Now
"Perfectly Dateless" Revell, Spring 2010
"Walking on Water", Tyndale House TBA
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