My youngest son, Addison, is two years old. As you well know, the two's can be, you know, challenging. By challenging I mean making you want to pull all of your hair with summery highlights right out. Or your grown out highlights with dark brown and gray roots, as in my case. Addie is absolutely convinced that the world revolves around him. His wants, his needs and his choice of cereal. When I don't comply with his two year old demands, all hades tends to break loose. This morning he almost had a nervous break down when I poured him a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats. Because obviously, if I was any kind of mother at all, I would know he wanted Kix for breakfast. Unbeknownst to him, I am not fluent in toddler telepathy. Neither am I able to read between the lines of the high screeches and keening of a two year old wailing over breakfast food. It seems to do no good when I use calm phraseology like, "Addison, use your words." or "Perhaps monkeys can understand you when you shriek and jump up and down but unfortunately, I do not speak monkey." So Addison has devised a way to let me know that he is done with me. When he doesn't like my methods or questions or choice of breakfast goods....he closes his eyes. It can be quite infuriating when you are trying to have a friendly chat about which cereal he would like to eat and he closes his eyes. Using his very effective body language, he is saying, "I am not thrilled with you. In fact, I am so disgusted with you I can't even look at you. I really can't. You are invisible to me." And while I am disturbed by this, I see the same reaction in myself. I close my eyes to lots of things that upset me. Like cellulite. I refuse to look at my upper thighs out of sheer intolerance of how they have turned against me in the last few years. And I close my eyes to the spider webs that line the high places in my bedroom. Because I am just not up to getting out the ladder and tackling them. Or thinking about the fact that there are hordes of spiders running free in my house making themselves quite at home. And sometimes I would like to close my eyes to life in general. Because somedays life seems too out of control, too scary and too big to wrap my mind around. And it seems that no one is taking into consideration my wants, my needs or my heart felt demands. And closing my eyes to it all seems like a great idea. Lucky for me, someone else has his eyes wide open. Someone who has my best in mind. Someone who has walked before me. Someone who is there to guide me when I throw tantrums and wail about how life is unfair and how I don't get it. I think sometimes Jesus wants to take my face in his hands and say, "Sue, unfortunately, I don't speak monkey. You are going have to stop shrieking, jumping up and down and complaining about how your life isn't looking the way you think it should. And it would be nice if you opened your eyes. So you could see who is in front of you.....me." Sometimes opening your eyes is the best thing you can do. Even if you don't get your favorite cereal.
Susanna Aughtmon is a freelance writer, married to church planter Scott, and mom to three sweet boys, 7 and under. She likes to spend her free moments trying to resurrect plants in her garden, eating chocolate, reading fiction and checking the comments on her blog, Confessions of a Tired Supergirl.
Sue- You don't have any idea how much I needed to hear this today! And as usual you made me laugh! So I guess what I need to do is go have some chocolate and calm down and open my eyes. :)
Posted by: Jessica | July 28, 2008 at 12:10 AM