Another year has flown by. My word last year was BLOOM. That sounded exciting at the time (and it was, just not in the ways I expected). Blooming is the result of pruning. There was lots of that this year. Pruning of people, places and things. I came face-to-face with my own brokeness in a lot of areas. I put a lot of energy into trying to do something real, something difficult and something that would benefit others. I thought that would be easy or even appreciated.
Not so much.
As my sistah Claudia Mair Burney says, when you try to love broken people, you're likely to get cut. I found that to be true in 2010, even when that person was myself. And so with bloody hands and a heavy heart, I sat still (finally) and listened to God. I put aside my lust for the approval of other people and the need to hear the sound of my own voice. And from that blood and quiet, something beautiful sprang. It's still growing, in fact. It's a fragile rose, but strong in all the places I am weak.
Last year, I worked, went to school, ran a half marathon (yeah, I ran the whole thing!), lost 56 pounds (and gained @#$% of it back)... A lot happened in my heart and in my house. There's been a lot going on in my head too. Three different books have been writing themselves on my heart for the past year. One filled with the familiar faces of Testimony. I cried once in an elevator when I smelled Brian coming before I saw his face. I burst out laughing in a public bathroom when Sean began to sing. The other two projects were new and very different, yet just as compelling.
Ten years ago, my life flashed before me. I thought I was dying. I didn't see my family first. I saw a man with dreadlocks and questions in his golden eyes, a girl on top of a mountain (whom I've recently met) and others who have been and are yet to come. Today, I am alive, but those same people are flashing before my eyes.
My WORD for this year is:
Thus says the LORD, who makes a way in the sea And a path through the mighty waters,
“ Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert. (Isaiah 43: 16, 18-19, NKJV)
My word for the year is:
It is time to begin again, to live, love and create with bravery and heart. Now it springs forth. I will know it. I hear the river flowing, even in this desert. In the midst of everything, I will close my eyes, open my heart and lift my hands.
I will FLOW...
Happy New Year!